This is Part 2 of my reflection, My Heart Before God, continuing the journey of surrender, trust, and learning to depend fully on Him. In this part, I reflect on what it means to stop striving for control, meet God in the valleys, and discover that His presence—not answers, circumstances, or my own strength—is enough.
So, Father, I don’t want to merely ask You to take away every weakness. I want to know You are in the middle of it. I don’t want only the mountaintop. I want to recognize You in the valley with me. I don’t want only the answers. I want Your presence. I don’t want merely to survive this season, I want to thrive. I want this season to make me more like the Lord Jesus. Teach me to surrender what I cannot understand. Teach me to release what I cannot control. Teach me to stop trying to steal the pen from Your hand and write my own story. You are God. I am not. And somehow, wonderfully, that is not frightening. It is freedom. Because if You are truly sovereign, then I don’t have to carry the weight of being sovereign myself. I can breathe. I can trust. I can obey what You have placed directly in front of me today. And when tomorrow comes, I can trust You with tomorrow when I get there. Father, when I am sinking, help me cry out sooner. When my thoughts become overwhelming, turn my eyes back toward Christ as soon as possible. When I become consumed with what I should be doing, remind me of who I am in You. When I am tempted to measure my worth by what I accomplish, remind me that I am already loved by the One who gave Himself for me. When I cannot see what You are doing, give me grace to trust that You are doing something. When I cannot understand the path, give me faith to follow You anyway. And when my faith is reduced to nothing more than a desperate whisper—“Jesus, save me.” —let that be enough for that moment. Because You are enough for every moment. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I know Who holds tomorrow in His hands, You, my God. I don’t know which prayers You will answer the way I hope, which doors You will open, which ones You will close, or which chapters of my life will make sense when I finally stand before You. But I am beginning to understand something: If You were to answer every question I have ever asked, explain every disappointment, reveal the purpose behind every loss, and show me why You allowed every valley I never wanted to walk through, I believe that when You finished speaking, I would have nothing left to say except: “Thank You.” Thank You for saving me. Thank You for keeping me. Thank You for not giving me everything I thought I needed. Thank You for the valleys that taught me to depend upon You. Thank You for the weaknesses that exposed my need for Your strength. Thank You for the storms that taught me to cry out for Your hand recognizing that not every storm came to cause destruction, but many times to clear a path. Thank You for the unanswered questions that taught me to trust Your heart. Thank You for Your grace. Because I am not standing here today because I have figured life out. I am standing here because Jesus has not let go of me. So today, Lord, I surrender again. My plans. My expectations. My failures. My fears. My thoughts. My responsibilities. My unanswered questions. My future. My family. The ministry you entrusted to Me. My weaknesses. My entire life. Take it all. I am Yours. And if all I can do today is take one step with You, then give me grace for that one step. If all I can do is make it through this hour, then meet me in this hour. If all I have is enough faith to whisper Your name, then let me whisper it. Because I don’t need to be strong enough for tomorrow. I need You for this moment. And then, when the next moment comes, I will need You again. Day by day. Moment by moment. Grace upon grace. Until the day my faith becomes sight and I finally stand before You—not because I endured perfectly, not because I figured everything out, not because I was strong enough, but because You were faithful. Jesus, You are my Savior. You are my hope. You are my strength. You are my peace. And You are enough. When I do see You face to face I pray that I hear the words I desire most but also know that I am unworthy to hear written in Matthew 25:21 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’ and not, “He had such potential”. In Jesus’ precious and powerful name, Amen.
My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog
Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*
To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.
