It is not always pleasant, but I always try my best to be as transparent as possible in what I write and share. I don’t do this because of a pride issue or to show how amazing I am, because I am not. I do this because God is amazing and I want to show the world around me that if God can use me, He can use anybody.
I believe there is something powerful about being honest about our struggles while still acknowledging the faithfulness of God in the middle of them. Sometimes, the very things we are most afraid to share are the things God can use to remind someone else that they are not alone in their battles. We never know who needs to hear the truth about our journey to find the courage to keep walking through theirs.
As a pastor, a man of faith, I tend to hold myself to a higher standard in honesty and integrity, but I find myself to be a hypocrite more times than I care to admit and a failure in so many different ways. I desire to be closer to God and still get distracted with all that is going on in my world.
There are people that I feel I can share a little of my life with, but not everything for fear of being judged. There are others that I know, if I share anything at all, they will react with opinions and condemnation, and some have proven themselves to be gossips beyond measure. The reality is that being transparent does not mean everyone has earned the privilege of knowing every detail of our lives.
Since becoming a Christian, I have tried to live out Scripture in every aspect of my life. I try to practice what is written in James 1:19 Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving] and yet have been told that I am more like what is written in Proverbs 18:2 A [closed-minded] fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his personal opinions [unwittingly displaying his self-indulgence and his stupidity].
God taught me a long time ago that when people speak, the first thing I am supposed to do is “shut up and listen.” My purpose is to listen with the intent to hear and not to respond. I also listen to what is not being said as much as what is being said. I wish some of the people around me would practice some of these.
I understand that everyone is going through something in one way or another, and if they aren’t at this time, they have just come through or are getting ready to go into something else. We never truly know the weight someone carries behind their smile, the prayers they whisper when no one is around, or the battles they fight just to make it through another day. Sometimes, the greatest ministry we can offer someone is a safe place to be honest without feeling the need to defend, explain, or justify themselves.
My desire is to fulfill the calling God has given me to help, mentor, and disciple others for His glory. For me, I fight many battles that only God and I know about, and this week has been very challenging for my family and me. Trying to find balance and experience peace is overwhelming at times. My heart is heavy.
The most challenging part for me is not wanting to burden anyone else with what I am going through, knowing that many are too busy to take time, others just wouldn’t understand, and some really don’t even care. It is easier to pretend that I am okay by putting on a facade than to try to explain why I am not.
I have heard it said more than once by others that read what I share that they are glad that I am going through what I do, and not them. Truth be told, I am not offended because I understand completely how my life is from the inside looking out, and if I were on the other side, I wouldn’t want it either. But because of what I go through, I believe that I am able to minister to many whom those within the walls of the church aren’t equipped to reach.
One of the most comforting things I have heard in a long time is that when God put a calling on my life, He already factored in my stupidity and character defects and chose to use me anyway. That reminder gives me hope because it points me back to God’s grace rather than my own ability to get everything right. His calling does not make me immune to weakness, but it continually reminds me of my need to depend on Him for strength.
I am continually learning that faith does not mean we will always feel strong, have all the answers, or know how to navigate every season of life. Sometimes faith means showing up with a heavy heart, admitting that we are struggling, and trusting God to sustain us one day at a time. We can be called to pour into others and still need someone to pour into us, and there is no shame in acknowledging that need. It may be difficult to accept it though.
I want to thank all those who pray for my family and me on a regular basis. I covet the prayers of the saints. Please continue to lift us up as we navigate the things that only God fully knows and understands.
To anyone reading this who is quietly fighting a battle of their own, please know that you are not forgotten, your struggles do not make you a failure, and you do not have to pretend to have it all together. There is room in the family of God for the weary, the wounded, the struggling, and those who are still trying to find their way. As brothers and sisters in Christ, We Are Stronger Together. May we become people who listen without condemning, love without conditions, pray without ceasing, and remind one another that even in our hardest seasons, there is still grace for today and hope for tomorrow.
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My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog
Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*
To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.
