Throughout my life, it seems as though I have walked through more valleys than I have had mountaintop experiences. People on the outside look at my life and say how blessed that I am, and I know that it is true, but the problem is, they do not see within, what goes on in my heart and mind every day. There have been days when the weight of my own thoughts has been heavier than any burden this world could place upon my shoulders, yet God has faithfully carried me through every one of them. Recently, in one of the many jobs that I do to provide for my family, I had a 50 pound mirror drop on my left foot causing some trauma. Because of this my steps per day have been reduced from 14,000 to 2,000. The foot and the physical discomfort are not the overall problem but the lack of activity and more so productivity has caused me to spiral into a depression mode that makes it a little difficult to experience the joy of the Lord in the moment. I understand the purpose of the enemy, it is written in *John 10:10 The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy…*. The fiercest battles that I face are not battles against the enemy and his demons, for which there are many, but it is battling with myself about many things that only God and I know about. I have questioned my purpose, wrestled with my worth, and wondered if I would ever become the person God created me to be, but His grace has never stopped pursuing me. My life has been filled with broken dreams, broken promises, and I have experienced a broken heart way too many times. There have been countless moments throughout my life when all I have known is failure and defeat, loneliness and despair. Even when my faith has been reduced to nothing more than a whisper, God has remained steadfast, reminding me that His faithfulness is not dependent upon any strength of mine. The reason that I am sharing this is because I believe that I am not the only one having these feelings and emotions in this season of life. I also want all those who read this to understand that I know the truth of God’s word and that many will go through various trials and tribulations as seen written about in *James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.* I know without a doubt that my God is with me whether I feel it or not. I look to His promises and they bring me comfort and hope, like what is written in *Hebrews 13:5…for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”* Looking back, I can see that every valley has become a place where God has refined my heart, strengthened my faith, and drawn me closer to Him than I could have imagined. My desire is to experience a life that Jesus came to give me as seen written about in *John 10:10…I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].* I have prayed many prayers from brokenness and weakness and God has spoken clearly to not only me but to others I know who trust in, rely on, and cling to Him. My focus has been transformed by what is written in *2 Corinthians 12:9 but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.* If these words find you in a place of brokenness, weariness, or silent suffering, I want you to know that you are not walking this road alone, even if it feels that way today. Together, let us choose to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, trusting that the same Savior who has carried us through every valley will also lead us to the mountaintops He has prepared for us. My humble plea is that if your heart is weary, do not give up, do not lose hope, and do not stop running to the foot of the cross, because it is there that we find the grace, mercy, peace, and strength that only Christ can give. So, Here I Am Again, at the foot of the cross, for there is no other place on earth where I can find peace and feel complete. And if I must return to the foot of the cross every day for the rest of my life, then by His grace, that is exactly where I want to be. Because in the end, I have discovered that the greatest blessing was never escaping the valley—it was finding Christ there. 

My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.