To see Jesus face to face is my ultimate desire, and yet it causes me great anxiety at the same time because I know that above all that I am, I am a hypocrite, I know that I do not live my life entirely at God’s disposal. I want to be used by God and yet I am consumed more by the cares and concerns of the world than I am for the work of the kingdom. There are moments when I feel the Holy Spirit drawing me deeper, calling me to surrender every hidden corner of my heart, yet I still wrestle with fear, pride, and distractions. If you ask people if they want to go to heaven, the majority of them would say “yes, but not right now.” And then ask them who they would “not” like to see when they get there and the majority would probably say, God. So many of us want the promises of eternity without first dying to ourselves and allowing Christ to truly reign within us. With all the pain, division, misunderstandings, heartache, and sorrow, and everything else that is going on in the world, I want to go to heaven now more than ever. Every headline, every broken relationship, and every disappointment reminds me that this world is not my home and never will be. There are certain verses that I cling to in scripture, special promises that I have an urgency to witness. Sometimes I read them with tears in my eyes because my soul aches for the fulfillment of what God has spoken. I wait expectantly to experience what is written in *Revelation 21:4 God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and death shall be no more, neither shall there be anguish (sorrow and mourning) nor grief nor pain any more, for the old conditions and the former order of things have passed away.* I long for the day when sin no longer clouds my mind and when worship flows freely from a completely redeemed heart. My prayer is simple, “Heavenly Father, loosen my grip on this world. Please help me to be more like Your servant Paul, more torn between remaining on earth to share with the lost people the good news of your grace, and going to heaven to be with Jesus.” Even in my weakness, I know His grace has carried me farther than my own strength ever could. For those that don’t understand what I am saying, in simple terms, you can have all this world, but give me Jesus. I am ready to go home. Yet while I remain here, I pray that my life would point others toward the hope that can only be found in Christ alone. I pray fervently about what is written in *Philippians 3:20 But [we are different, because] our citizenship is in heaven. And from there we eagerly await [the coming of] the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.* The older I become, the more temporary earthly success and possessions appeal to me. I really don’t need to know all the little details about heaven. All I need to know is that it is where my beloved Jesus is, so that is where I long to be. I am homesick for a place that I have never been, a place where I believe my heart will be full, my soul will be understood, where I will be loved beyond measure, and that by faith I am convinced is the place I want to be forever. Sometimes late at night or in the early mornings lately, when the world grows quiet, my heart whispers prayers for the day that I will finally see my Savior standing before me. Charles Spurgeon said, “You will generally notice that when the believer gets near to God, tastes the unseen joys and eats the bread that was made in heaven, all the feasts of earth, all its amusements, and all its glories seem very flat, stale, and unprofitable!” The more I seek Jesus, the less satisfied I become with anything this world tries to offer me in His place. I pray, “Lord Jesus, I will wait for You to come get me, and in the waiting I will be about my Father’s business as much as possible. God, please give me strength to endure, Amen.” And until that glorious day, may I love others with the same mercy and patience that Christ has shown me, remembering that we are all broken people in need of His grace and mercy. May the genuine saints stand united in faith, humility, and compassion, calling all people into the hope and salvation found in Jesus Christ alone. No matter how dark this world becomes, I remain fully convinced that Jesus is faithful to His promises, and I will continue to wait with expectation, conviction, and unwavering hope for me to go to Him or Him to come and get me. Either way it’s a win, win. Please keep in mind that Jesus loves you and I love you too!

My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.