The enemy attacks me in a variety of different ways. It is not so much about what is happening around me but more about what I choose to believe within. Some battles are fought in silence where no one else can see except God. Almost every day I am faced with the decision to trust God’s truth or believe the enemy’s lies. Those are often the moments that reveal whether I believe my feelings or trust what God has already said in His word. The more common ways the enemy attacks is with unrealistic expectations, self doubt, false hope, insecurities, inadequacies, and fear of being unlovable and forever alone. I do not live in this mindset, but it does seem that I have visited these landmines a little more often than I should due to recent events. Even in those moments though, I have learned that a passing thought does not have to have a permanent place of residence. When it appears like things are going to change for the better, it often ends up getting more challenging and difficult. Sometimes I mistake the presence of hardship as the absence of God, when in reality He is often doing His deepest work in seasons I least understand to refine and purify me. My mind gets caught up in the flood of feelings and emotions of the world more times than I care to admit. Many hide their failures, questions, and doubts, but for me I expose them because that is where I find healing and peace. I have been told that others relate to what I write due to the sincerity and honesty in what I share. Transparency has never been about gaining sympathy; it has always been about making room for God’s grace to meet me in the open instead of in hiding. At times I see how thankful others are to know that they are not alone, while some say that I need professional help. Regardless of how my words are received, I want them to point people toward hope in the Lord Jesus rather than perfection that can never be achieved. I pray fervently over what is written in *Proverbs 3:5 Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. 6 In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].* I have learned to live my life with the expectation that God is always at work on my behalf. Faith is not pretending that everything is okay; it is believing that God is faithful even when everything around me says otherwise. I like what Charles Spurgeon said, “Often depression of spirit and great misery of soul are removed as soon as we quit our idols and bow ourselves to obedience before the living God. We must do this with all our hearts and all our souls, and then our captivity will end.” My biggest idol that holds me captive is how I think my life should be, and it’s not, and most likely never will be, and that is why my obedience to God is better than any sacrifice. I have realized that comparison is the thief of all joy and the leading cause of disappointment in my life. Contentment grows when I stop measuring my life against someone else’s highlights and start recognizing God’s faithfulness in my own story. There are times when I see what other people are doing and think, “I should be doing that too,” but then I pause, I pray, and am reminded that I am on a different path and God does not have that for me. I am continuing to find peace where I am because my God is Sovereign and I want to be in His will whether I really want to or not. I read something that I mull over quite often, “I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve. I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome. I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help. All of my prayers were answered.” Closing thoughts: In this season I am learning that acceptance does not mean giving up on growth; it means accepting where God has me today while trusting Him with tomorrow. There is room at the table of God for those who are confident and for those who are still wrestling, because His love is not reserved for people who have everything figured out. I want to be someone who makes others feel seen, welcomed, and accepted, just as Christ has continually welcomed and accepted me in all of my imperfections. The more I rest in God’s unconditional love, the less I feel the need to earn the approval of others, and the more freedom I find to love people as they are while pleading with God to continue changing me for His glory.

My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.