There have been very few days over my recent past that have not been, for the most part, peaceful and ones I wanted to last a little longer. Yesterday was not one of them. Overall it was productive, but it was also filled with every type of feeling, emotion, and struggle that one can imagine. There were moments when the weight of everything I carried felt almost unbearable, and I found myself fighting battles that no one else could see, mentally, physically, emotionally, and most impactful spiritually. The pain wasn’t just in the circumstances around me, but in the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly pouring oneself out for others while trying to keep my own heart steady. Even when my faith remained firm, my emotions were stretched to their limits, reminding me that strength is not the absence of struggle but the willingness to keep trusting God through it. I thought I was dealing with everything pretty good up until about 8:30 p.m. when everything went haywire. My life is full of caring for others, praying for others, and attending to the needs of others. One of my go-to verses in ministry is written in *Matthew 5:9 Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous—with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the sons of God.* Last night I was involved in trying to keep the peace and got so caught up in the situation that I needed to walk away—more like storm away. I realized as I walked out the door that everything I go through is for a specific reason and purpose. As I was walking, the moon was rising and I got to a point where I wanted to sit down and watch. I sat on a bench and also watched the cars go by. I tried to pray but no words came to my mind or my lips so I just sat there in silence, except for the sound of  the tires on the pavement. The one thing that came to me was that whether I am around or not, life is going to go on for everyone else. Don’t take that the wrong way—I don’t plan to disappear or do anything crazy—but the realization is that we only have so much time to make a difference for the Kingdom, and that has really been my focus for whatever time I have left since I came to know the Lord Jesus. One of the blessings in ministry is getting to do hospital visits and help people with end-of-life situations, it becomes real just how short and precious life is. One of my odd jobs is helping clear property after someone passes. To see the things that were once so precious be discarded is eye-opening and heartbreaking at the same time. I want my life to be more about Jesus than about stuff. My joy is that in the odd jobs that I do I am able to glorify God in the process, at least most of the time. As I have times of direction and vision of what God wants of me I reflect quite often on what is written in *Matthew 5:13-16: “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste (its strength, its quality), how can its saltness be restored? It is not good for anything any longer but to be thrown out and trodden underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a peck measure, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven.* As difficult as yesterday was, it reminded me that my calling is not determined by my feelings but by my calling and obedience to Christ. The struggles may leave scars, but they also deepen my dependence on the One who never grows weary of my actions and behaviors. If my life can point even one person closer to the Lord Jesus, then every tear, every battle, and every difficult moment will have eternal value. Even though I struggle, I will continue to strive to be salt that preserves and light that shines, even when the path is hard and the burden feels heavy. My prayer is that when my race is finished, I will have remained faithful to the purpose God entrusted to me and that He alone will receive all the glory. My prayer: Heavenly Father, I lift up every person reading these words today, knowing that You see every burden they carry, every tear they have cried, and every battle they are fighting that no one else may ever know. Grant us hearts that seek Your peace above our own understanding, strength when we feel weak, courage when we are weary, and grace to continue reflecting the light of Christ in a world that desperately needs hope. Help us to remember that our lives are not measured by what we possess but by our faithfulness to love You, love others, and point people to Jesus in both our words and our actions. When our prayers are reduced to silence, remind us that Your Holy Spirit intercedes for us and that Your presence never leaves us, even in our darkest moments. May each of us finish the race You have set before us with unwavering faith, bringing honor and glory to Your holy name until the day we stand in Your presence. Amen.

My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.