This year has been a wild time for storms in Tucson. This morning we woke up to snow falling in the valley which is sort of peaceful, at least until the kids get up and see it, lol. Last night though, the wind ripped through, the walls shook, the rain came down with a vengeance, and the power went out. This caused me to have severe anxiety and I was on the verge of a panic attack making it difficult to even lay down and sleep. I share my life in hopes that as others read what I write not to make people feel sorry for me, but just to ask others to walk with me in my journey as I have walked with them. Over the past few weeks there have been suggestions made and comments shared as to what others think about me and what I write. “Wouldn’t it make your life a lot easier if you had a regular 40 hour a week job with a steady income with benefits. Wouldn’t having all that help tremendously with all the problems you have?” To be clear to all those who love and care about me, my life is not needing a steady job, my life is being there steadily for the children in my home. We have four children with specific special needs to which we have recently seen some functional regression, balance issues, emotional distress, and a number of other challenges that are heartbreaking to endure. I ask God a simple question on a regular basis, “What do You want from me?” The answer to this question I found in *Ecclesiastes 12:13 All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God’s providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole [duty] for every man. 14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it is good or evil.* What God wants is really quite simple: He wants us. All of our service for God must flow from love for others and obedience that He has given to each of us as our service unto Him, or it is not real service unto Him. Some people may be called to minister to hundreds, thousands, or even millions, I came to an understanding a long time ago that I am called to the ones, first and foremost to the ones in my home, and then the ones that will let me minister to them. So, I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be. Recently I received some feedback that I would like to share, “Over recent years I have been tempted several times to remove my number from receiving your devotionals. I cited a lack of change in your life & circumstances, always written against a backdrop of endurance, without victories. Each time I prayed before doing so, and each time our Lord said, No, keep reading his messages. Today, Father opened my eyes to see the victory inherent in each experience you share. You may have struggled for years with the same issue; yet like Job you have never cursed Him. The years have shown you to be a man faithful like Abraham, willing to wait decades for His plan to unfold in His time, in His way. With Esther and Hosea as your predecessors, you understand your purpose and understand that God alone chooses how you will be used. You follow in obedience, as opposed to those of us who chase after a more glamorous, convenient, service to God that sidesteps suffering and heartbreak. In MY wisdom and My strength, I sit here in tears, realizing my need for foolishness and weakness that will allow God to make me someone He can use.” Not everyone is called to preach from the pulpit, some of us are called to work in the pit, in the trenches, and there seems to be fewer and fewer that are willing to go with me into the mire. Sometimes it gets a little lonely and I told my daughter that I am blessed to have certain brothers and sisters in Christ who walk with me, and then I said to her, “I wonder who else will volunteer to help me in the battle for souls? As I made that statement to my daughter, my five-year-old grandson Thieodore heard what I was saying and without hesitation his response was “I will.” Not sure how many can relate but, Lord, challenge me to continue in the work You have made me to do even in the face of those who see it as futile or pointless.  The things we do in life help us get things so that we can live a little better, but it is in what we give to people that will make life worth living a little more. One or a Million, I’ll take the “ones.”