There are people that I have met, when I ask them, “How are you doing?” their answers are, “fabulous” or “great”, “better than I deserve’ ‘or even “beyond excellent.” Then there are others like me, that always seem to be going through something, and today is one of those days. This morning started off rough due to lack of peaceful sleep and having a lot on my mind and schedule to deal with. There are some in my spiritual community that I am trying to help have serenity and it is not easy, but then again I don’t have that for myself. I struggle in lacking inner calm, security, or wholeness, often due to internal conflict (worry, fear) or external struggles (injustice, life’s trials). For me, I struggle from unresolved sin, doubt, or a disconnect from God. Even when outwardly appearing calm I am at times frustrated beyond reason. It’s the opposite of shalom, which signifies well-being and completeness, and often involves feeling detached by circumstances rather than grounded in a deeper truth, leading to negative attitudes like irritability and isolation. I have so much to do and so little time or energy. My days have been hijacked more times than I can count. So many people depend on me and I feel that I am letting them all down in one way or another mostly because of not being focused on them in the moment, especially when my mind is a scattered mess due to all that is going on around me. I believe that the reason that I go through most of what I do is because of the attacks from the enemy, for I am trying to live right before God and live a life pleasing to Him. When I was a baby Christian, the first book of the Bible that I studied through was Job. As I look back on those early days and that study, I learned a lot about who I am before God and more importantly who God has been throughout time. I learned that I was not at all like Job in my devotion to God but really desired to be. I reflect on what is written in* Job 1:1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil.* I could relate to some of the pain and suffering that Job went through due to my own life’s circumstances, but mostly because of my poor choices and lack of understanding. Where it came to the loss of family, job, friends, and home, I did experience many of those to the extreme. I believe that the enemy was attacking me in a similar way that he attacked Job as seen documented in *Job 1:12 And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand on his person.”* God got my attention through my pain and suffering, trials and tribulations, loss and anguish. I tried to hold onto my integrity in the midst of the worst time of my life and thought, was it really worth it? There were many that tried to dissuade me as Job’s wife did to him as seen written in *Job 2:9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”* I have learned about being blameless and upright, fearing God and shunning evil as I read through the scriptures. I also believe that I can say at this point of my life in Christ what Job did in *Job 13:15 Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him… *. My life is not easy due to many different reasons, but one thing I know for sure is that God is with me even in my brokenness, pain, and struggles. Brethren, whatever you are going through, know with all that you are, God is for you, not against you. Know with all confidence that you are fighting from victory and not for victory. A closing thought is a quote from my daughter Tiasia Blaser, “I would rather stand with those in the fire than with those afraid of the flames.” Please pray for me because I really need it, and I will pray for you for all who read these words as well. 

My BeLoved, may the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.