The other day I was listening to the radio, and I heard a song for the first time. In the beginning of the song it talks about being little and our relationship with God, and then growing up. It says… “When it was You and it was me / I had everything I needed / Faith could even move a mountain top / And then I grew up / And then I got older / Then my life got tough / And we grew apart ” For me, this hit close to home. I started going to church when I was six years old. I grew up in church, when I was little it felt like home more than anywhere else ever has. I couldn’t wait to go. However, when I grew up I was torn between the two worlds that I was raised in due to my parents divorce, and walked away from God. I had so many problems and I blamed God for a lot of them. I blamed Him for tearing my family apart, for situations I allowed myself to be placed in, for allowing things to happen to me that I should have been protected from. I ran from Him, instead of towards Him. I often reflect on what is written in Proverbs 22:6 it says…” Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” I thank God every day for how true this is, and for giving me the Dad that He did, because even though once I was older I may have walked away, I always knew I could go back. I knew there was nothing I could do that God wouldn’t forgive, because He gave me a dad that taught me just that. As I listened to this song on the radio, and thought about this the chorus played…”I wanna go back / To Jesus loves me this I know / For the Bible tells me / For the Bible tells me so / I wanna go back / To this little light / Gonna let it shine / Gonna let it shine / I wanna go back” So here I am now, listening to this song on repeat, asking God to let me go back. I wanna go back home. I want the faith that can move mountains, the excitement about the fact that Jesus walked on water that I see in my children’s eyes, the amazement in three simple words “Lazarus come forth” (John 11:43). I don’t want to go back because my life has gotten better, or because I’m a better person now. As I’m sitting here, I feel like everything is falling apart. I feel tired and worn in more ways than one. However, I have peace in it. Because I can lay it all down before God. I’m not perfect, and He didn’t come to condemn me for what I’ve done. He came to rescue me, and I know I need a Savior and have One. I want my kids to see that no matter where life takes them they can always go back home. What better way is there to make them see that, then by going home myself. So here I am Lord, Love me where the hurt is. (Written 11-7-2016) My BeLoved, may the grace of the Lord Jesus, and the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.