I have eaten myself up over the years with the “What if this” or “Maybe that’s.” Over the past few months I have been challenged in many different ways. I believe that God is Sovereign, and yet the challenges that I have battled through have hurt me deeply. The majority of what I felt that gave me significance has been mocked and disrupted one by one. Due to my home dynamics, the way that I have been able to provide for my family has been met with difficulties. Due to busyness, the people that I minister to have been lessened. Even the people that I once counted dear to me, have been distanced away for one reason or another. And as much as it has pained me, I am learning to give my absence to those that don’t value my presence. Recently, I have been more intentional on who I spend my time with. I am finding some peace when I spend it alone, but not really, I am investing my time more with God but even that has been wishy-washy. I listen to different teachers, worship songs, I pray, I rejoice, all of these have caused me to weep over different aspects of my life. As I have prayed fervently about my life and all that is involved, I reflect on, am encouraged, and wait with expectation because of what is written in *Daniel 10:12 Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. 13 But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia.* It sometimes feels like everything around me is working against me, keeping me from any resemblance of success or significance, and that my prayers are falling on deaf ears or just bouncing off the ceiling. Through this time, I have come to see clearly that success is found in the journey as God sees fit, and the destination is the result, heaven. Everything else that I have considered to have any resemblance of significance has been idolatry for me and from that I repent. I struggle when I hear the many different phrases in “Christianese” that at times are difficult for me to accept and more importantly how to apply these thoughts to my life no matter how true they may be. “If you are a new creation in Christ… then you are accepted, you are secure, and you are significant. You are forgiven. You are not defined by your past, you are not trapped by your present, and you need have no reason to have fear concerning your future… You are safe in His very capable hands. Just trust His truth. Just believe Him. You are His treasure.” I feel like a failure more than anything and yet I know that I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit because of what is written in *John 15:16 You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you* The one thing that I ask above all things is that I will do the will of the Father no matter how challenging that may be. 

Brethren, we all need to remember that each one of us is greater than the worst thing we have done all because of Jesus. We are all agents of change if we allow God to do the work through us. Please pray for me as I pray for all those who read these words. My BeLoved, may the grace of the Lord Jesus, and the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.