It is not always pleasant but I always try my best to be as transparent as possible in what I write and share. I don’t do this because of a pride issue or to show how amazing I am, because I am not, I do this to show the world around me that if God can use me, He can use anybody. As a pastor, a man of faith, I tend to hold myself to a higher standard in honesty and integrity, but find myself to be a hypocrite more times than I care to admit and a failure in so many different ways. I desire to be closer to God and still get lost and distracted with all that is going on in my world. There are people that I feel that I can share a little of my life with but not everything for fear of being judged, and others that I know that if I share anything at all they will react with opinions and condemnation, and some have proven themselves to be gossips beyond measure. Since becoming a Christian I have tried to live out scripture in every aspect of my life. I try to practice what is written in *James 1:19 Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]* and yet have been told that I am more like what is written in *Proverbs 18:2 A [closed-minded] fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his personal opinions [unwittingly displaying his self-indulgence and his stupidity].* God taught me a long time ago that when people speak, the first thing I am supposed to do is “shut up and listen”. My purpose is to listen with the intent to hear and not to respond. I also listen to what is not being said as much as what is being said. I understand that everyone is going through something in one way or another and if they aren’t at this time, they have just come through or are getting ready to go into something else. My desire is to fulfill the calling God has given me to help, mentor, and disciple others for His glory. For me, I fight many battles that only God and I know about and this week has been very challenging for my family and I. Trying to find balance and experience peace is overwhelming. My heart is heavy. The most challenging part for me is not wanting to burden anyone else with what I am going through knowing that many are too busy to take time, and others just wouldn’t understand or some even care. It is easier to pretend that I am okay by putting on a facade than to try to explain why I am not. I have heard it said more than once that others are glad that I am going through what I do, and not them. Truth be told, I am not offended because I understand completely how my life is from the inside looking out and if I was on the other side I wouldn’t want it either. But because of what I go through I believe that I am able to minister to many that those in the walls of the church aren’t equipped to. One of the most comforting things I have heard in a long time is that when God put a calling on my life, He already factored in my stupidity and character defects and chose to use me anyway. I want to thank all those who pray for my family and I on a regular basis. I covet the prayers of the saints. Thank you all for your encouragement as well. My BeLoved, may the grace of the Lord Jesus, and the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to support the ministry God has entrusted to me either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.