I find it interesting that my life and circumstances seem to be cyclical from one year to the next. Over the past month or so, my life has been a little busier but all in all easy, a lot less stressful, and not too demanding. This has been a welcomed season but it also seems to be short lived. Ever since I can remember my life has mostly been filled with emotional turmoil and heartbreaking trials in one way or another. To be transparent, I am a follower of the Lord Jesus who has always been striving, trying to obediently follow God in the midst of whatever test, tribulation, or suffering that I am going through at the moment, desperately seeking to feel God’s presence, but for some reason I keep falling short, feeling secluded, almost as an outcast. While my utmost desire is to do what is right: to abide in Christ,  I can also feel some major opposition from the enemy, the world, and those around me that say they care but hinder me. My heartfelt prayer to Almighty God is simple, it is written in *Psalms 119:28 My life dissolves and weeps itself away for heaviness; raise me up and strengthen me according to [the promises of] Your word.* The spirit of heaviness prevents my effective service to God by making me feel separated from Him and from other believers. Instead of feeling connected to the Lord, I am caught up in the “distractions all around.” The distractions, emanating internally or externally, all have the same result – my desire to connect with God in an intimate and genuine way is left unfulfilled. Can anyone else relate to this? I intimately know the feeling of yearning to be in the presence of God, but still feel abandoned. I want to do what is right, but continuously feel like I am failing. The ways that I battle through the spirit of heaviness is (1) to be in the Word especially when I don’t feel like it, (2) pray until I am done praying and then pray some more, (3) worship God and be thankful for the bad as well as the good. I trust that all that is wrong will one day be made right because God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. I am encouraged by the words of Charles Spurgeon when he said, “No man may turn his back in the day of battle or refuse to go to holy war. We must fight if we would reign, and we must carry on the warfare till we overcome every enemy, or else this promise is not for us, since it is only for “him that cometh.” We are to overcome the false prophets who have come into the world and all the evils which accompany their teaching. We are to overcome our own faintness of heart and tendency to decline from our first love.” As I pray for myself to be drawn closer to the Lord Jesus today, I also pray that all who read these words are able to fully experience the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus for yourselves by being intentional with Him. My Brethren, invest your time wisely, you may run out of it before you know it. My BeLoved, may the grace of the Lord Jesus, and the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to give either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis in support of the different ministries God has entrusted to me. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.*

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support for the ministry activities that God has entrusted to me at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.