Here’s what I know, I struggle in many different ways to find peace and joy with the Lord, and in the Lord. Here’s what I also know, so does just about everybody else in one way or another who are genuine in their relationship with Him. For the majority of us, we are doing the best we can with what we have to make it through the day, moment by moment. For better or for worse I have allowed my life to be an open book, a target of ridicule, hate, and judgment. All for the greater good in glorifying the Lord Jesus. Those who judge me have not a clue what strength it takes, what I endure, the sacrifices I make, and how I strive for obedience that at times goes against what the rest of the world is following after. Through the struggles that I face I hurt deeply on a regular basis and try my best not to let the world around me see it. The struggles of my life have helped shape and mold me into the person that I am today. There are a few that appreciate that, but there are many others who are offended by it as well. The problem that I have is that sometimes I still don’t like that person in the mirror, “me”. I feel like I should be so much farther along in my walk with Jesus than I am. Pretending I am okay is sometimes easier than having to explain to everyone why I am not and for the most part very few really care anyway. People think that I am strong because of what I have been through and how I am able to minister to others while I am struggling to find my purpose. To be transparent, there are times when it would be nice just to have someone sit with me when the darkness visits, not trying to understand why I am going through the things that I do or fix anything, just sit with me in the quiet, praying over me for God to work all things together for good. There are often times that I feel lost and alone and when these moments come, I regularly consider what is written in *Romans 5:3 Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. 4 And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.* My life stopped being completely about me the day I came to Christ, after that day it came to be about the difference I can make in the lives of those that God has put around me by the power of the Holy Spirit for the glory of the Lord Jesus. In the past I have asked others to pray for my endurance, but today I would like to add to that, I just want life to get a little better, just a little peace in the chaos, some joy through my pain and struggles, with hope that the ministry that God has entrusted to me is being fulfilled. Someday, I pray that my suffering makes sense. My confidence and hope in this moment is in the promise that today I am another day closer to heaven and no amount of trials, tribulations, or attacks of the enemy will take that away. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to understand. From the inside looking out, it’s hard to explain. So please pray for my prayer for today to be fulfilled: Dear God, please give me the strength to be content where I am. The patience to wait on Your timing, and the faith to remember that You have Your hand over my entire life. Guide and direct me to make decisions according to Your will and not my emotions. Help me to be just a little bit better today than yesterday. In Jesus’ precious and powerful name, Amen. Maranatha, come quickly Lord Jesus. My BeLoved, may the grace of the Lord Jesus, and the love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

Special Note: I want to thank those who read what I write and are encouraged to give either one time or have decided to give on a monthly basis in support of the different ministries God has entrusted to me. I am encouraged to see certain verses playing out before my eyes like what is written in *Philippians 4:16 For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account.* 

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support for the ministry activities that God has entrusted to me at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.