Recently I have been going through a rollercoaster of emotions and I am getting tired of all of the battles that I am dealing with. I realize that the struggles have a purpose, but the more I try to live Biblically, the more I feel attacked by the enemy, and many times he’s using the very people who are supposed to support and care for me to go against me, my family, friends, especially the people I go to church with. Unintentionally I find myself trying to force the wrong people to care for me the right way and have ended up disappointed and brokenhearted. I used to get mad, but now I am getting quiet. Due to recent events, when I am given information about something impactful to my heart that I don’t agree with, my response is usually just, “Ok.” I have learned the hard way that it is useless to keep talking when the person that you want to communicate with just can’t or won’t hear what you have to say. I have begun to incorporate certain scriptures into my daily prayers for me to be able to receive clarity and discernment from the Lord, like what is written in *2 Timothy 3:1 But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear]. 2 For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, 3 [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, 4 traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them.* It is sad that this type of behavior is becoming more evident in the church than in the world. I realized a long time ago that when someone else is there for me, ready to help me when needed, that those types of people are too important to lose, but also few and far between. For me, I am learning to stop trying to help those who don’t ask for it. I need to understand that if they really wanted my help, if they really wanted me to be a part of their life, they would seek me out, they would ask for my involvement, ultimately, they would reach out to me more than I do to them. I’m learning, I’m doing better, but the sad thing is that I am getting bitter in the process. It comes down to the truth that when someone won’t let you in, eventually you have to stop knocking, because what is on the other side of that door evidently isn’t meant for you. It has gotten to the point that red flags are no longer warning signs, they are deal breakers. Communication is not about saying what we think, communication is about ensuring others understand what we mean, and for some they just don’t care enough to find out the importance of what I have to say, and that is a determining factor of whether I respond or react or do nothing at all. I recently have been convicted by the words of Charles Spurgeon “It was a pretty remark I read, the other day, of a Christian man who said, ‘I used to have many disappointments, until I changed one letter of the word, and chopped it in two, so that instead of “disappointments,” I read it, “His appointments.”’ That was a wonderful change, for ‘disappointments’ break your heart, but ‘His appointments’ you accept right cheerily.” This is extremely difficult for me to do right now with all that is going through my heart and mind, so my Beloved, please pray for God to help me to accept right cheerily “His appointments” instead of being focused on all that I am disappointed by that has broken my heart and almost my spirit. In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support for the ministry activities that God has entrusted to me at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.