I find it heartbreaking to admit, but with all that I share on a daily basis only a few have asked what is going on with me? I thank those of you who genuinely care, I feel blessed more than you may ever understand until we get to heaven. I have been told that I am not as joyful and happy as I usually am. I think I have been able to narrow my situation down to One Word, “Tormented.” I feel the attacks day and night. My thoughts wander during the day and my nights are full of tossing and turning. Sometimes it seems as though my faith is being tested and I am failing in just about every way possible. Life has become so draining, in so many different ways. I feel like I don’t get anything done that I need to do to survive and yet I know that the only thing that is truly of any importance or value is what is being done for the kingdom. Some of the torment I experience comes from the sheep I have been called to minister too as well as from other ministers of the faith that don’t understand the calling that I believe God has given me. I believe that I am being tormented for a very specific purpose and spiritual reason, and my prayer is that I am being purified, even though I feel as if I am being vexed with mental, emotional, and at times physical discomfort. Certain scriptures lead me to an interesting action, like what is written in *Matthew 14:34 When they had crossed over, they came to the land of Gennesaret. 35 And when the men of that place recognized Him, they sent out into all that surrounding region, brought to Him all who were sick, 36 and begged Him that they might only touch the hem of His garment. And as many as touched it were made perfectly well.* I believe that if I can just touch the hem of His garment I will be made perfectly well and so that is my longing, that is my desire, but even if I am not healed from my distress in this world, I know that His grace is sufficient and I will be healed in the next. I liken my life to the words of Alan Redpath, “Those of us who are going through a trial that seems overwhelming need to realize that, He can enable us to say, “Lord, if this is for Thy glory, heap on the load! If this is to accomplish something that will make me more usable for Thee, then pile on the burden! If this is something Thy hand seeks to do in order to make me like Thy lovely self, then, Lord, I will take everything because, even though I am crushed under it, I am going to trust Thee for strength every day. My weakness shall glorify Thy power.” Most people say that they would do anything for the Lord, and then think they have done everything for the Lord, but in all reality didn’t even do the slightest miniscule thing to increase the kingdom. The majority of people that I meet have a false sense of relevance in the faith, I don’t. I am a servant of the Most High God and my prayer is simple, “Lord, please enable me with confident assurance to do all that You have called me to do whether at the pulpit or in the pit of despair. Amen.” In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support for the ministry activities that God has entrusted to me at pastord.blog@gmail.com or I do have a Zelle account associated with my phone number, 5202720387 last name Blaser. Thank you my Beloved for your ongoing prayers and support.