As I share the variety of things that I do and touch on many different topics, I realize that what I endure is all over the place. On some rare days my life is peaceful, but most of the time I live in chaos, with an illusion of control, and really only being able to focus on the goal right before me in the moment. Some people believe that I like living like I do, but for me I don’t know how to live life any differently, I guess it’s just the way my brain works. I don’t have all the answers about life, but the more that I am in the Word, the more I am learning about living right before God, and more importantly about who I am before Him through the lens of scripture I receive peace. I have been rebuked for “not understanding the Bible ” by those who don’t have a clue about what I go through on a regular basis, and in all truth, show by their actions that they really don’t care. I try to schedule as little as possible, as the only real goals I have for each day is what I can accomplish that the Lord leads. I admit there are certain verses that I struggle with, like what is written in *1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints*, and yet there are many times that I am so confused as to why I go through all that I do without a clear answer. As I contemplate about what I don’t understand I pray over what is written in *Isaiah 55:8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.* I question God as to the struggles that my family and I go through and ask “why” do all these things keep happening to us? Why does it seem that we are constantly in the furnace of affliction? I see other people’s lives from the outside and it seems as though they are so blessed and yet for us, many times it seems that we are fighting uphill battles every day with no end in sight. A little while back at our Iron Sharpens Iron spiritual support group meeting, one of the guys said that when he came through the door the first time and saw the group, his thought was, “these guys have it all together” later to find out we all have something going on that causes us to desperately need God’s presence in our lives every moment of our days. Many people believe that God gives the fiercest battles to His strongest soldiers, I disagree, I have seen the mightiest warriors develop through life’s toughest battles. I heard it said that, “A knight in shining armor is a man who has never had his armor truly tested” and many can see that my armor is almost damaged beyond repair. I want to encourage any that are confused and/or fighting a battle of the mind, heart, or spirit about “why.” The simple truth is, I don’t know your “why”. I don’t know your story, your struggle, but I want you to know with all that you are that I know God, and He is faithful to His word to help you endure. When I am confused about my “why” I look to the scriptures to get my answers and pray that you will as well. I have developed my prayer life around what is written in *Matthew 7:7 “Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, it will be opened.”* My beloved, whatever you are going through, know that perseverance pays off. Keep On Asking, Keep On Seeking, Keep On Knocking, God will reveal to you your “why” either in this life or the one to come. Either way it’s a win, win. I want to close with a quote from Charles Spurgeon that brings a little clarity and a lot of peace in my life and hopefully in yours as well. “There are two great certainties about things that shall come to pass—one is that God knows, and the other is that we do not know.” In Christ Love, douglas. HE>i. pastord.blog

To any who are interested, please feel free to reach out to me with prayer requests, questions, encouragement, or for information on how to come alongside me with financial support for the ministry activities that God has entrusted to me at pastord.blog@gmail.com