Looking back on my life, I can see how I ended up where I am. My parents gave me the name Gestas, it means to complain or to moan, and from that day forward my life was full of trials and tribulations that I complained and moaned about. My father got leprosy and died when I was five. I watched him suffer as his skin would get sores and it spread all over his body.  After his death,  my mother was not around too much. She felt empty and tried to find another man to fill that void that was left in her spirit. There were times that she would go out and leave me at home to fend for myself. I never felt that school was a necessity for me, it was more important for me to eat than learn. In Jerusalem there were always festivals and markets to go to that kept me busy while she was out. The market was always a good place for me to spend time at and get something to eat for free. This is because I knew where to steal the best pieces of lamb. 

My mother made a point to make sure that I went to synagogue every week, even though she never did. I remember the Rabbi would say a few words, the people would recite them back a few times and then we went about our day. Throughout my 31 years of life, there is one thing the Rabbi’s said that has stuck with me, it is the words of King David, “I do not spend time with liars, nor do I make friends with those who hide their sin. I hate the company of evil people, and I won’t sit with the wicked.” For some reason I always thought about those words, but I never really obeyed them. For me, it was more fun spending time with the wicked than the self proclaimed righteous. Maybe it started with the rush that I got when I would steal my food and not get caught. The thought of getting caught only goes through my mind once and awhile.

My mother and I were both looking to be loved in a way that we had never been loved before.  We would talk, and she told me that she missed the loving arms of my father and I told her that I did too. When I was ten years old, my mother and I were in the market. There were two different men that had been spending time with her and they began to fight. My mother got between them and tried to break them apart because of her love for both of them. In the midst of the fight, a knife was pulled and my mother was stabbed and she died. For her, the desire for love and the poor choices in men that she made, cost me my future. That day my life truly changed forever. There was a man in the crowd that I knew from the market that saw the fight, his name was Ahriman. He led a group of thieves and murderers. Ahriman became that father figure I longed for and was also someone I could follow and learn from. 

Over the past twenty-one years with Ahriman there have been quite a few of our  friends that have been caught by the Romans for different crimes. Barabbas is set to be crucified for the same crimes that I have been doing and not been caught. The Jewish people of the city fear the Romans and their local leader Pontius Pilate. I do not fear men, I don’t even fear God. I have been fighting to survive as long as I can remember. One thing that I can tell you is that I will never go to the cross and be crucified because they won’t catch me. 

One of the best parts of my life is having my friend Dismas. He and I are like a two sided coin, tricky and deceitful in the exact same way. We have plans to steal the taxes that have been collected by the Romans. This money will set us up for life. The good thing for us is that the Romans are dealing with a man named Jesus and the Jewish people are excited about the upcoming Passover celebration. Because of the distractions in the city, I really think we can get away with just about anything.