My life is a combination of happiness and pain that constantly changes day by day, and sometimes minute by minute. I have a broad perspective on life that gives me the strength to move forward through some of my most painful times I experience. Over the past few weeks my family has had many struggles that caused me to develop tunnel vision, and forced me to only take care of what was right in front of me. There have been quite a few things that I have let go by the wayside due to what we were going through. If I did something or didn’t do something and your life was affected in a negative way I am sorry. It was never my intention to cause anyone else a problem, but there have been quite a few days recently where it seems as though it took everything I had to just keep my head above water and take care of those in my own home. Two weeks ago my older daughter went to Washington state to be with my younger daughter who was about to have a baby. There were some concerns and off she went leaving behind the rest of the family. We have two children that receive therapies seven days a week, as well as the two older who are in school, and their needs fell into my hands by day and my son-in-laws hands by night and weekends. I know that I have neglected some of the responsibilities of ministry but was able to do most, but was not able to work at all. I pray quite often on what is written in *Galatians 6:9 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.* It has been challenging for me not to faint, but more so to trust in God when I have not been able to do what I need to survive financially. One thing I know that I did right was to sacrifice a little bit of my life so that those who are in my home, the most vulnerable, knew that they were going to be okay when they felt abandoned. Sunday/Monday we had a twofold blessing in that my younger daughter had a little boy early Sunday morning, Ronan Asher Bailey, 7 lbs, 2 oz. Then on Monday my older daughter returned home. Now we get back to normal as much as normal can be, and that is a whole different story of busyness and chaos. I feel like I have experienced many defeats but one thing for sure is that I know that I was not defeated. While depressed feelings make me feel stuck in suffering, I know that it is a temporary illusion because feelings change and situations come and go. I want all who read what I write to understand that God is my constant hope and because certain verses I endure as such is written in *Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength [mighty and impenetrable], A very present and well-proved help in trouble.* My friends, my beloved, thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and support. pastord.blog